


Revelations At Halloween

by padfootagain



Category: British Actor RPF
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 09:20:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16992294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padfootagain/pseuds/padfootagain
Summary: You and Ben have been friends for a while now, and you have never dared to confess your feelings to him. But when he brings his new date to a Halloween party, you just can’t take any more of it.





	Revelations At Halloween

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for an event on tumblr :  
> 66\. “Fuck… I love you! Can’t you see it?! Are you blind?!”  
> 70\. “Let’s dance until even the stars are gone to rest…”

You hated this kind of parties. You hated Halloween altogether. You hated this costume of yours, you hated the music, you hated this loud noises all around you, you hated…

You hated the fact that Ben hadn’t come here alone.

In all honesty, you generally enjoyed yourself in parties like this one. You were surrounded by friends, and your pirate costume wasn’t ridiculous but still rather funny. But Ben had come with this blond girl you didn’t know and…

…it was breaking your heart.

You drank up half of your beer straight as you saw the blond woman laughing with him and taking his hand…

Perhaps it was all your fault after all. Ben had never made a move on you, but you had never taken the first step either. You were too shy for that. You were afraid to lose him as a friend. And perhaps it was stupid, but you were terrified at the idea that he could choose not to talk to you anymore if you revealed your feelings to him. What good would that be if he stopped talking to you altogether? You didn’t want to take the risk to lose what you didn’t have…

You felt tears rising to your eyes at the sight of Ben letting this girl give him a peck on the cheek.

You put down your glass full of alcohol on the nearest table and walked to the garden of your friend’s house. You needed some fresh air. You needed to forget Ben and this blond girl. You needed to forget him actually. Perhaps it was the solution. Perhaps you needed to find someone else…

You looked up at the sky. It was cloudless, and inky, and stars were shining like diamonds on some dark velvet. It seemed infinite and peaceful. And you felt trapped in this poisonous feelings you had for one of your best friends…

You heaved a sigh, rubbing your tired eyes and deciding that it was probably best if you went home now. You couldn’t have fun tonight anyway, and seeing Ben with his date was breaking your heart in a million pieces.

So you walked back inside, grabbed your coat and started towards the door.

“Y/N! Where are you going?” asked Amanda, who had organized the party this year.

You gave her a sad smile.

“Home,” you answered, your throat dangerously tightening.

“Why? It’s still early!”

You looked at Ben again, and your friend followed your gaze. She heaved a sigh as she caught sight of Ben and his date.

“He’s an idiot, don’t get yourself sick over him.”

“He’s not an idiot,” you defended him.

“He is. He can’t see how lucky he is to have someone like you in his life. He can’t see how you feel for him. He definitely _is_ an idiot.”

You gave your friend another sad smile.

“It’s okay, Amanda. I just… I want to leave now.”

She tried to hold you back again, but you shook your head, and walked out of the house and into the street.

Your friend looked at Ben again, who seemed to be looking for someone through the crowd, and he looked disappointed when he didn’t find the person he was looking for.

Amanda heaved a frustrated sigh, rolling her eyes.

It was more than time that someone gave the two of you a push. You both seemed unable to see that you were making the other suffer. It was time for Amanda to take the matter in her own hands.

And she didn’t intend to be delicate.

“Benjamin Thomas Barnes!” she hurried towards him, and Ben looked at her with round eyes.

She was mad. And he didn’t even know why.

“Stop being such a moron!” she said, trying to keep her voice down so that all the guests would not enjoy the show.

“What did I do?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Y/N left.”

He frowned.

So that was why he couldn’t see you through the crowd…

“Where? Why?”

“Because of you, you idiot!”

“Me? I’ve barely talked to her this evening.”

“Yes! That’s the point!”

Now, Ben was completely confused.

“She avoided me the whole evening,” he replied.

“Sorry,” the blond girl interrupted the two friends. “Who is Y/N?”

“The girl Ben here is going to run after!” Amanda replied.

“I didn’t do anything, she can’t be upset because of me,” Ben replied.

But Amanda shook her head.

“You’re such an idiot…”

“I…”

But Amanda strode away, and Ben heaved a sigh.

“I’m sorry, I’ll see what’s wrong with her,” he excused himself, and before the blond girl could protest, Ben was hurrying toward the door.

Actually, it didn’t matter if you were upset because of him or someone else. He was worried about you now. He couldn’t see you sad, he had never been able to do so…

He didn’t have to search for long before finding you. You were sitting on the stairs that led to a neighbouring house.

You were crying. Your face was buried in your hands, you were shaking and he could hear you sobbing.

He swallowed hard, approaching slowly, his heart aching under his ribs.

“Y/N?” he called softly.

You froze, hiding your face even more in your hands so that he wouldn’t see the tears that stained your cheeks.

He sat down next to you.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” he asked softly.

“Nothing, leave me alone.”

Your voice was so hoarse because of your tears and tightened throat…

“No, tell me. What’s wrong?” Ben insisted. “Amanda told me you had left because you were upset with me. What did I do?”

You shook your head.

“Leave me alone.”

But he took your hands in his, and forced you to look at him. He dried your cheeks with his thumbs.

“You’ve been avoiding me tonight, but I don’t know what I did wrong,” he said softly, taking your hands in his again. “And really… I’m sorry if I made you suffer in any way. I didn’t know I was making a mistake. I didn’t know I was hurting you. So… please, stop crying and… just tell me what I did. I’ll repair it, okay?”

You shook your head, giving him a sad smile, forcing your tears to remain at the corner of your eyes.

“You can’t repair it,” you whispered.

“Bullshit. I know I can.”

You shook your head again, freeing your hands from his, and drying your cheeks and eyes on your sleeves.

You tried to change the subject, as clearly Ben had no intention to leave.

“What’s your costume?” you asked.

He smiled.

“I’m a monkey, see?” he asked, pointing at the ears on his hood and the tail behind him.

You looked at the T-shirt he was wearing above his costume.

“You’re a monkey who likes the Arctic Monkeys?” you asked, and you couldn’t refrain a smile.

He was such a dork…

“Exactly!” he smiled.

“You’re an idiot.”

“If I made you cry, I definitely am.”

You sniffed. He was so kind, you couldn’t even be mad at him… although you really wanted to be mad at him.

“It’s not really your fault, I know you didn’t do it on purpose,” you said softly.

He rubbed your back in a soothing manner, afraid you would start to cry again.

“What did I do?”

He thought that you had changed the subject again, not that you were actually talking about what was upsetting when you spoke again.

“What’s her name? Your new date?”

“Sophia.”

“Pretty name.”

“She’s a lawyer.”

“Wonderful.”

“We met a couple of weeks ago at a party.”

“How romantic…”

Your voice sounded bitter, but he chose not to care about it. He didn’t know how to read this tone of yours.

“She’s great,” he said softly.

“She seems to be,” you nodded. “You’re happy with her?”

He smiled.

“We’ve met two weeks ago, relax. Nothing… nothing happened really…”

You stared intensely at him.

“But you brought her here,” you said, frowning slightly.

He shrugged, looking away.

“I didn’t want to come alone, that’s all.”

“Why? It’s a party thrown by your friends. It’s not like you needed some… support or something.”

“I don’t know… I thought everyone was going to come with someone and I didn’t want to end up alone in a dark corner drinking over the fact that… I feel lonely.”

You looked down at the ground.

“I feel lonely too,” you whispered.

He looked at you again.

“You came alone tonight?” he asked softly.

You nodded, feeling tears reappear in your eyes.

“I was hoping for someone to ask me to go with him. But he didn’t.”

“Oh…”

Ben felt his heart rushing and breaking in his chest.

“I think… I think he just… we must not feel the same after all,” you went on. “For a moment I thought he did, because he was always so nice with me and he loved spending time with me but… perhaps it was just friendship. I don’t know anymore… I waited for him to take the first step, but he never made any move towards me and… I feel like an idiot.”

You saw tears appearing in his own eyes, and you didn’t understand why. He looked away, wrapping his arms around his knees.

“I see… what’s his name?”

You didn’t answer.

“Do you love him?” he asked in hushed whisper.

“It doesn’t matter, he doesn’t see me like that.”

“How can you know? Perhaps he does but… he’s just too stupid and shy to tell you. Perhaps you should take this first step you’re waiting so much for.”

“He wouldn’t have brought a date tonight if he really had feelings for me.”

He frowned slightly, staring at you again, trying to read trough your expression. You couldn’t be meaning that…

“I was thinking… and perhaps…” you said softly, slowly. “Perhaps we shouldn’t see each other so much, you and I, Ben.”

He frowned hard.

“What are you talking about? We’re friends.”

“I don’t want to be friends with you.”

You were so tired of all this…

“I never wanted us to be friends, Ben,” you said earnestly, your voice shaking, but you felt relieved to finally let all this out of your chest.

“I don’t understand…”

“You’re an idiot!” you exclaimed, annoyed now, almost angry.

“Y/N…”

_“Fuck… I love you! Can’t you see it?! Are you blind?!”_

He froze. He just… completely froze, his eyes slightly round in shock.

“You what?” he breathed.

“I love you, you moron!”

A smile formed on his lips.

“You do?” he asked again.

“Yes, I do… but you don’t see this in me and… it’s killing me.”

“I didn’t think you felt that way,” he admitted. “I thought I was just a friend.”

“You’re not.”

You stood up, trying to walk away from him, but Ben grabbed your hand before you could take a single step down the street. He slowly stood up.

“Let me go,” you breathed, but Ben shook his head.

“I’m sorry…”

“No, Ben… I don’t want to hear this.”

“Y/N…”

“No!”

“I’m sorry. I should have seen it.”

“Stop…”

But when you struggled to free yourself, he took your other hand in his, and pulled you against him. You let out a gasp, feeling his chest rise and fall against yours.

“I had no idea,” Ben said softly. “You… we only saw each other with our friends, and when we first met you weren’t single and I… I never thought you saw this in me.”

You looked down at the tip of your shoes.

“It’s not your fault if you don’t feel the same, Ben,” you said kindly.

“But you’re wrong I… I do feel the same.”

You stared at him with wide eyes.

“You never gave me any sign that you liked me or anything so I just… assumed that you saw nothing more than a friend in me,” he went on. “How could I know? Clearly you were not better at seeing through me than I was at seeing through you.”

You slowly freed your hands from his, and he didn’t try to stop you this time. He let your fingers slip out of his reach, his dark chocolate eyes still fixed upon you.

“Y/N? What’s going to happen now?” he asked in a whisper.

But you were frustrated, and mad at yourself for not seeing that Ben felt the same, for not taking the first step sooner, and you were mad at him for not showing you that he cared about you and…

You slapped his chest several times, and he didn’t move, merely looking at you with eyes round with shock. He didn’t try to stop you and let you pass your nerves on his muscular chest.

“Y/N?” he breathed once you were done, standing before him again with your arms falling idly by your sides.

“You’re such an idiot!” you shouted, crying again.

But the next second, you were rushing into his arms.

Ben frowned hard.

“I have no idea what’s going on whatsoever…” he said.

You laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I’m sorry, I’m a bit upset,” you said, and he could hear that your throat had tightened again.

He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close to him.

“It’s okay. But you’re not mad at me, right?”

You shook your head.

“What are you going to do with Sophia?” you asked him.

He shrugged.

“I guess I’m just… going to tell her that… we don’t fit.”

“You don’t _fit?_ ”

“Yeah. What? You have a better idea?”

“ _Fit?_ ”

“Yes… that we’re not meant for each other, if you’d prefer.”

“So you’re going to break up with her, right?”

He looked down at you again.

“Yes. Unless you want to take all that you confessed back, but then you… you would break my heart.”

“How could I?”

He smiled.

“What do we do then?” he asked softly.

“I don’t know.”

“Well, you did cry because of me I… I reckon I owe you an apology.”

You saw his lips slowly diving towards yours, and a playful smile crossed your face.

“You know what you could do for me? If you really wanted to make me forgive you?” you said softly.

He shook slowly his head, his lips just inches away from your skin now.

“You could make me dance.”

He froze.

“Dance?” he asked.

You nodded.

“I thought you knew me better than that,” he laughed.

“Dance with me,” you asked softly, and he couldn’t refuse.

He slowly started to make you sway, there, in the middle of the street.

You laughed.

“I meant… I don’t know, at the party or… somewhere with music,” you mocked him.

He shrugged, holding your hand in his, and making you twirl, before catching you back in his arms.

“I’m such an awful dancer anyway, with or without music… it doesn’t change much things.”

You both laughed, still swaying across the dark street, your steps guided only by the yellowish light of the lampposts nearby.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry I didn’t see that you felt the same,” he said softly.

“I didn’t see it either.”

“We lost so much time…”

“Then… then let’s… try to do this and… try to stop wasting our time denying how we feel. What do you say?”

“Sounds good to me.”

After a moment, Ben rested his cheek against your hair, and he started to hum softly a sweet song. You closed your eyes, forgetting for a while the world around you, and all your problems vanished as Ben’s soft voice acted on you as a lullaby, the warmth of his body flowing across your veins and his spicy scent making your head spin.

You ran a hand through his dark hair, and you felt him sighing faintly against your ear.

“Let’s stay here forever,” he whispered in your hair, cupping your cheek. “Let’s dance like that forever, let’s… _Let’s dance until even the stars are gone to rest…_ ”

But you shook your head, looking up at him again.

“I think I’d like to do something else though, not just dance,” you whispered.

You went on your tiptoes, approaching your lips from his, making him smirk.

“What now? Are you sure it’s a good idea?”

You nodded again, too breathless to answer.

He took your face in both his hands, and you finally noticed that you weren’t swaying anymore.

“I have to admit,” he said softly, his voice barely more than a whisper, “that I’ve waited for a while for this.”

You smiled.

“Me too, Ben. So perhaps we should… stop loosing time. What do you think?”

He chuckled softly, his lips diving towards yours slowly.

“That’s a pretty good idea that you have here.”

“Shut up, and kiss me…”

He closed the space between the two of you and…

… hell, you weren’t sure of what was going on. Perhaps you were dead and gone to heaven. It did feel like heaven…

You had no idea whatsoever of how long you and Ben remained there, kissing in the middle of the street. Perhaps two minutes, perhaps an hour. You wished it could have lasted for all your life.

When he rested his forehead against yours, Ben was laughing.

“What is it?” you asked softly, your fingertips lost in his beard.

“You’re a pirate.”

“Yes…?”

“And I’m a monkey. Don’t you think we were meant for each other.”

You couldn’t help but laugh.

“I thought pirates had parrots, not monkeys.”

“Some have a monkey.”

“You’re such a dork.”

“You mean that I’m the king of stupid humour. I know, thank you.”

You both laughed, remaining in the middle of the street, holding on each other tightly, for a bit longer…


End file.
